24: the greatest worst TV show debate continues

To: Keith
From: Nick
Sent: 13 February 2006
SUBJECT: 24

Keith

I assume you didn't watch 24. I loved it. Every minute of it.

Nick

•••

To: Nick
From: Keith
Sent: 13 February 2006
SUBJECT: Re: 24

Nick

Didn't see it. Stopped watching it last year and haven't picked it up again. All I know is that Jack's changed his name and cut his hair and, based on his new and improved size, seems to have wolfed down an entire cow.

Snore. With a side order of zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Keith

•••

To: Keith
From: Nick
Sent: 13 February 2006
SUBJECT: Re: Re: 24

Keith

No no no, no no no. I understand your reluctance, but it’s a good haircut and a great new name and President Palmer was killed and Michelle was killed and Tony's in a coma (or maybe that's his acting style – ITHHHANNKKKYAAA). And Nixon is still in it and he's now got a nutty wife and his Aide is behind a huge conspiracy and Jack committed 40 (at least) acts that are not only counter to the Geneva Convention but also counter to any law ever.

And he's been framed for Palmer's murder and he wears Aviator shades throughout. And he kidnapped Kurt Cobain's little brother in a helicopter. And he emoted a little and his shades proved an extremely effective disguise for getting him into a building where 400 FBI agenst were hunting for him. Incredible.

Oh and Edgar, Chloe and some sinister new IT bod are involved in a love triangle...of fat and ugly and sinister proportions.

Oh you are missing greatness, my friend.

Nick

•••

To: Nick
From: Keith
Sent: 13 February 2006
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: 24

Nick

Unless it turns out that CTU is actually a secret hidden anti-terrorist "prison" hidden away in the wilds of Eastern Europe and that Jack is running the place with his own particular brand of vigilante justice (including but not limited to Mexican Stand-Offs and Swiss Army Knife amputations), I can't see the point when I've got Lost keeping me busy.

And America's Next Top Model gives me all the intrigue and convoluted plotlines I need.

Keith

•••

To: Keith
From: Nick
Sent: 13 February 2006
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: 24

Keith

Or if a gang of chavs came in and rearranged the letters on the CTU building and added an N and an S and then sat pointing at the building screaming really foul abuse until Jack arrived and garrotted them all. And then Jack breathed on the front window and drew a knob in the steamed up glass before running away giggling.

We could mix Lost, 24 and America's Next Top Model and have the greatest show in the world: "America's lost 24 top models”, a 24-part show where Jack from Lost and Jack from 24 have 24 hours to hunt down 24 missing top models in a weird island/metaphor setting a la Prisoner.

As they track down each model – Jack from 24 has to torture each one to find out where the next one is and then Jack from Lost has to use his doctoring skills to make her all well so Sawyer from Lost and Tony from 24 can get to go a date with her and then she has to choose who she wants to make the sweet sweet love with, while being shot at by Michelle Rodriguez (who may or may not be on the show, and could just be passing by). And the show would be presented by Lionel Blair and Louis Farrakhan.

Nick

•••

To: Nick
From: Keith
Sent: 13 February 2006
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 24

Nick

OK, but only if the house orchestra is fronted by Hurley.

Keith