Excerpts from an ongoing email exchange between the deadly bored on film, TV, celebrity and beyond.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Almost Famously Not Famous Enough, part 1

MEMO: Famous people who shouldn’t be famous or aren’t famous enough
Re: Dennis Dugan

This site has been rudely interrupted by the arrival of a baby. While we wait for the child to stop eating, shitting and not sleeping incessantly, we present “Famous People Who Should Be Even More Famous” part 1.

The first nominee for this prestigious category is Dennis Dugan. Who is this man, you ask? Oh, you know him, trust me. He’s one of those faces that has been popping up in mediocre films ans TV for decades. Here’s what he looks like:

Ring any bells? Of course not. That’s because he’s not famous enough. But like all good character-actors-turned-directors-but-still-acting, all he needs is one good moment of exposure and BAM, he’ll be the next Tom Noonan.

Here’s what he looks like again, just to remind you:

So what’s he been in you ask? Everything from MASH

to Parenthood.

And if that’s not enough for you, you’re just too damned picky.

So Mr Dennis Dugan, we salute you and your ongoing quest to hit the big time. After 30 years as an actor, you have the honour of moving up the slippery Hollywood slope from uncredited ER Doctor in the 1971 unheard of The Hospital to uncredited Referee in the 2001 Jack Black vehicle, Saving Silverman.

And once again, he looks like this:

Now you could pick him out of a line-up, right? Maybe?

Filename: Dennis Dugan
Career span: 30 years in film and TV as actor and director.
Best career move: jumping on the big-ass coat tails various Saturday Night Live alumni, especially Adam Sandler, as director of Happy Gilmore and Big Daddy
Worst career move: desperately clinging to those big-ass coat tails, as director of the forthcoming shitefest, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry as well as the 2006 bomb, The Benchwarmers (David Spade, Rob Schneider, Jon Lovitz)
Career high: The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking (1988), as Mr. Settigren
Career low: Take your pick – from the 1992 dirge, Brain Donors, to 1997’s most embarassing film, Beverly Hills Ninja, to the aforementioned 2006 piss puddle, The Benchwarmers.
Not to be mistaken for: Mark Metcalf, best known as the guy who played the spitty dad in that Twisted Sister video.


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