He's the lord of the rings

To: Nick
From: Keith
Sent: 18 February 2006
SUBJECT: Come on down to Hobbitt town

Nick

This is a story I'm sure Adam Sandler is watching carefully

Hollywood 'resists gay US actors'
Sir Ian McKellen has said openly gay US actors are
prevented from having successful Hollywood careers.
"It is very, very, very difficult for an American
actor who wants a film career to be open about
his sexuality," the gay British actor said.
"And even more difficult for a woman if she's lesbian.
It's very distressing to me that that should be the case."

Gay robots, however, are doing just fine.

To: Keith
From: Nick
Sent: 18 February 2006
SUBJECT: Come on down to Hobbit town

Keith

I'm not sure, I think this is some kind of canny move
Sir Ian's part. Because I've seen the first draft of that story.

McKellen in gay recruitment drive.

Sir Ian McKellen has said openly gay US actors are
prevented from having successful Hollywood careers.
But he says if they come to England, there'll be jobs
and bum sex aplenty.
" It is very,
very, very difficult for an American actor who wants a
film career to be open about his sexuality ," the
gay British actor said. "And even more difficult for a
woman if she's lesbian. It's very distressing to me that
that should be the case. So distressing, that I openly
invite all the gay US actors to visit me for oral pleasure
lessons." Mckellen announced recently that, in
recognition of his role as Gandalf, he'd be leading a
lot of small young men to his ring. And in recognition
of his role in X-Men, he lead of load of deviant young
men to worship his big shiny helmet. And he's also
building a gay robot. Called Sylvester. Based on the
singer not Stallone.

Nick

To: Nick
From: Keith
Sent: 18 February 2006
SUBJECT: Come on down to Hobbitt town

Well I'm glad we cleared that up. I hope Ian isn't too worried
about us revealing that first draft. I think it is nice for us
to show that Sir Ian is spreading his
trawling net wide. I tell you what, Knights of the
Realm have changed a lot since King Arthur's day - it seems
Lancelot and Gwayne have been replaced by
Sir Elton and Sir Ian...they're not going lead us into battle, are
they?

To: Keith
From: Nick
Sent: 18 February 2006
SUBJECT: Come on down to Hobbitt town

Keith

The new round table would have been impressive, though.
With a gorgeous centrepiece.

Nick