Excerpts from an ongoing email exchange between the deadly bored on film, TV, celebrity and beyond.

Monday, July 31, 2006

"Are you a Jew, sugar tits?"

To: Keith
From: Nick
Sent: 31 July 2006
SUBJECT: On being a bad driving, fundamentalist, alcoholic, anti-semite director in these politically correct times


Keith



Given Mel Gibson’s recent bout of Anti-Semitic Alcohol Poisoning™,
it’s time someone made it clear that Mel Gibson – and not the Jews – is behind all the problems in our world.

Let’s take a stroll down the world's major (and indeed very minor) problems at the moment:

1. Religious intolerance, dangerously violent revolutionary thinking and reactionary government practices.
2. An energy crisis and everyone fighting over what meagre drops of oil are left in an apocalyptic desert wasteland full of violent loonies.
3. Invasions by foreigners. By which I mean aliens.
4. The Scots taking over England.
5. Government tentacles encroaching into everyone's lives like some sorta conspiracy.
6. Kidnappings the world over.
7. The police shooting people at random and getting away with it.
8. A huge sense of unbridled misery.
9. Diseases ravaging the land and the end of days approaching.
10. Packs of feral youths roaming the land in odd costumes, maiming, hurting and pillaging.
11. Rampant gambling.

So what does this have to do with Gibson, you ask? Look at the list again, my friend: these are all plots to Gibson's films. World leaders and society in general is under the control of by a mad-as-a-bag-of-fucking-rabid-hyenas fundamentalist christian nutbar who wants the book of Revelations to come true.

He's just produced Leonard Cohen's latest concert movie as well - I kid you not.

Mel Gibson hates happiness and he wants us all dead and judged. There, I’ve said it. Let the wrath of Gibson come crashing down on my head.

Nick

•••

To: Nick
From: Keith
Sent: 31 July 2006
SUBJECT: Being a bad driving, fundamentalist, alcoholic, anti-semite director in these politically correct times


Nick

Are you a Jew, sugar tits?

Keith